The “me” syndrome

The average human beings’ instinct is self preservation, that is a person is primarily concerned with his or her survival before that of others. We naturally look out for number one. Love, a sense of honour or duty usually motivates us to tamp down that instinct and put others before ourselves, hence you find a mother laying down her life for her child, soldiers willing dying for their country and so on.

Looking at the information we are being fed in the media, we are being encouraged to follow our natural instinct and always look out for number one. Everyone is focused on doing what is best for themselves or at most their families. Nowadays it has become the norm to focus on “me” and “my”. Everybody is concerned about myself, my husband, my wife, my education, my car, my kids, my family, my progress, my ,my , my and my. It’s all about me. People no longer care for one another, plain and simple. Oh, we pretend to care but the truth is that we really don’t. Every day we come in contact with someone who needs our help, a smile, a hug, or a friend but we are too busy pursuing our “me” goals to notice. We ask people how they are doing but we really don’t want to know the answer, we ask only because it’s the polite thing to do not because we really care. You may say that there are many charities and NGOs around helping the less privileged in society , but I tell you many are involved to make a name for themselves, to avoid tax payments and other selfish reasons. Hardly do you find people doing good or showing kindness who can never return the deed. No doubt there are those who truly care about others and see beyond themselves but majority of us are plagued with the “me” syndrome.

If you ask people what they felt their purpose in this life is , it would boil down to making themselves happy at any cost. Most when they pray, spend that time asking for everything under the sun for themselves, its God destroy my enemies, give me a new car, I need a husband, LI need a job, and so on. How many people can say they have ever asked God in their prayers, God ,what do you need? , do you want me to do something for you? So you even the church, the people who should be the most unconcerned about themselves are plagued by the “me” syndrome. Basically my point here is that most people see no purpose beyond themselves, their world is only made of them and what affects them, nothing else. I think that is a sad way to live. If we are all only concerned only about ourselves then we will never progress. The “me” syndrome has put Nigeria in the mess that she is in today and it is what is keeping us from moving forward

In order to effectively take your place, we must look beyond ourselves. Taking your place, daring to be different and achieving excellence requires sacrifice and frankly a me person is incapable of sacrificing. You do not exist for your own sake alone but for the also for the sake of others. The bible tells us that one of the greatest and most important commandments is to love your neighbour as yourself. You are important and you matter but others matter just as much as you do. If we lead a life that focused on promoting the good of everyone not just ourselves, if we showed true love, care and compassion towards others then our nation would progress. Those in power would not steal because it would not be in the best interest of their fellow countrymen. Those who pedal fake drugs would not do so, because they know they are harming someone else in order to get rich and so on.

A life that is focused on me is a sad and miserable one. Live a life that can be seen as a legacy because it made an impact. No one was created to be a nobody, we were all made to be somebody, to make an impact. As a father, as a mother, as a doctor, as a senator, as a teacher ; In whatever you do, take your place effectively by looking beyond yourself, going beyond yourself and making an impact and leaving behind a legacy. THE TRUTH IS THAT IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME, NOR IS IT ALL ABOUT YOU. IT’S ALL ABOUT US. Let’s get rid of the ‘me’ syndrome

signed

Nessa D

JUNE 12 : A MAN, A DAY, OR MORE

i know this almost two weeks late but here it is:


June 12 1993 , is a day that is forever etched in our memories and in the history of our country, Nigeria. One cannot talk about the journey of this nation without referring to June 12. It was a day of great hope and yet one of great sorrow. History remembers that day as the day that for once Nigeria did something right . on that day the freest and fairest election ever held in this country took place. The results of that election , named M.K.O Abiola as the winner and hence president elect of the federal republic of Nigeria. Whether he was the best person , whether he would have been able to take Nigeria to the next level is of no consequence, the point was that the people had made their choice and voice had been heard. Unfortunately the joy of the moment was short-lived as the then head of state Ibrahim Badamosi Babaginda declared the election null and void, turning a day that had started out so right into something so wrong. The voice of the people once again crushed and silenced. There is no need to rehash what happened after, we all know it very well. We ended up in the disastrous regime of General Sani Abacha and Nigeria ended in a pit that we are still trying to emerge from. Currently we are “enjoying” a sham that we call democracy ( looking at the last election, can we really say that we are in a democracy- a government of the people , for the people and by the people) hoping someday to recreate the June 12 election.
I was only three years old when June 12 saga took place. To me June 12 was a day to take cover and happily stay home from school (my constant prayer then was that June 12 would fall on a school day). As I grew older and became more aware of the world around me , I began to understand the deeper meaning of June 12. I wondered why there was so much fuss over that day, because as far as I was concerned Abiola was not the first man to be cheated out of what was rightfully his and he definitely has not been the last, so again why the fuss? As I looked at that day over the years, I came to realize that June 12 was so much more than Abiola. The man did not make the day, the day made the man.
To Nigeria and Nigerians, June 12 signifies the strength, unity, determination and courage inherent in the Nigerian people. This trait that endears and alienates us from other countries. June 12 is a day that carries the hope and dreams of the Nigerian people. On that day the Nigerian people cried out with one voice and that voice was heard. Since the first coup, Nigeria waited in silence for that day and now we look to the future believing that since that day came once , it can and it will come again. A day when the peoples’ will ,will stand and their voice heard again. The memory of that day gives us a reason to fight against the odds that seem insurmountable. It gives us the strength to face the new challenges and refuse to give up.
The inadequacies of our so called democracy are even more glaring because it fails to meet the standard that June 12 set. For on that day Nigeria for the first time experienced the true meaning of democracy - a government of the people, for the people and by the people. The essence of any country’s democracy is the people for without the people there is no government and obviously no democracy and June 12 was about the Nigerian people and what they wanted. We wait, looking for a day to replace June 12, a day that we will experience again, the true meaning of democracy.

So you see , June 12 is more than a day, more than man, it is the hope of Nigeria, the strength of our people and the foundation of our dreams. We look to that day when we want lose faith in our nation, when its seems that we can never do anything right, when it looks like our country is known only for the wrong reasons. We look to that day and we say once upon a time we did something right, we say on this piece of God given land freedom, fairness and justice prevailed and on this piece of God given land freedom fairness and justice will once again prevail.
Signed
Nessa D

WHO IS TO BLAME?

Have you ever noticed that whenever Nigerians gather together to discuss Nigeria that all we do is complain and point out all the bad things about the country. We are either complaining how bad the power sector is or how the those in power are thieves or how police men are killing us with that trouble and so on. What we hardly talk about is the solution to these problems, and we do happen to discuss the solution to the problem we lay all the work at feet of the “government”. I must ask who is the government if not the people, true we have those who are the face of the government (such as the president , governor, senators etc) but in the end we all form the government and have a role to play in make Nigeria better.
We keep expecting the government to make things better but the truth is they can only do so much. It’s a fact that we have a lot of issues with those in seat of power but all the blame cannot be laid at their feet. If you are looking for who is responsible for putting this country in the mess that it is in today the you need only look into a mirror, yes there are those who are more responsible than others but you played a part. You may ask, ME? And I say yes, you. How, you wonder? Follow my thinking for a minute and you will understand how: I was born and have lived in Lagos all my life. Two major issues that we have had in Lagos for as long as I can remember is traffic and the pollution due to rubbish littering the roads and general environment. The government in Lagos has put in traffic lights and other road regulations as some measures to help reduces congestion and organise traffic, but how many people obey these traffic lights and regulations. A typical Lagosian, once he reaches a light will check if there is a LASTMA or police official around and if he sees none will beat the light if he can. If everybody follows his example imagine the chaos or when there is a bit of traffic people will turn a one way road into a two way road or at times a 3 lane highway into a 5 lane highway. Tell me, how will the traffic issue ever be resolved? After this we will gather and complain about the increasing traffic jams and how the government is doing nothing about it. Another instance is where we complaining how dirty the area is, yet we do not hesitate to wind down our car windows and fling rubbish unto the street after all it’s already dirty- ever heard the saying- tiny drops of water make a mighty ocean, well tiny scraps of rubbish make a huge pile of rubbish. All our little rubbish is what created those piles that we complain that the government should do something about. These are just two small examples, apply it to other areas of life, do you see how you helped define your environment?
It’s true that those at the top often fail to carry out their responsibilities but that does not mean you should fail to carry out yours. You are not responsible for the actions of others but you are responsible for your actions and your response to the actions of others. Before you act think about what the multiplier effect of your actions would be on your society. Those in power have a part to play in restoring our nation but so do we. Instead of complaining about how others fail to do their part, DO YOUR PART,LIVE UP TO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES AND TAKE YOUR PLACE. If everybody focused on doing their part we would definitely do some progress. It’s time to ask what can I do to make my community, my society, my country better? Stop waiting for someone to make things better, GET UP and in your own way make things better . No one is too small to make a difference. Remember - tiny drops of water make a mighty ocean. Am determined in my own way to make a difference, to TAKE MY PLACE, the question now is ARE YOU?
Nessa D

Motivation

what inspired me to create this blog? my belief in God. To some, God is someone or something you recognize on Sundays and you pray to when you are in trouble. God is more than that to me, He is a fundamental part of my Life. He defines who I am .How did God inspire TYP? the bible says in Ephesians 4 vs 1 live a life worthy of the calling you have received and this calling is to be a child and son of God . A child is a reflection of his father and God is excellent hence as His children we too must reflect excellence in all we do. This is aim of TYP to promote excellence in all areas of Life. As children of God we are called to be different , that why the bible says that you are a peculiar people , a royal priesthood. God is king and heirs of a king we cannot to act in a manner that reflects badly on our king. This is my motivation .
Another thing that motivates me is my strong belief in the power and greatness in Nigeria. I believe that Nigeria is diamond in the rough. We are so blessed. Nigeria has the capacity to be greater than America. We are people of incredible strength and determination. we have spirit that refuses to be intimidated , we are a people who are able to defy the odds. I believe that if we all buy into the TYP legacy then we can show the world this Nigeria that I see

introduction

this is the first of many posts.... Take Your Place (TYP for short) is basically about getting every individual to take his / her rightful place in every area of life from the family all the way to the world. As individuals we all have a role to play , a spot to fill , a purpose to fulfill and a person's failure to fulfill his /her role causes a chain reaction that causes a destabilization in society as a whole. it may look like an exaggeration but its the truth. follow my reasoning: for instance we have a man who is a father of one son. this father is a drunk and he beats his wife. the son watches the actions of his father and unfortunately adopts them in his own life because he has learned from his own father what it means to be a father, which to him(the son) constitutes drinking and beating his wife to exercise control as the head of the famiy. the conclusion here is simple , the father failed to take his place as a father , he failed in his role and hence the son automaticallly failed in his own role as a father.
taking your place is not just about occupying the position as father , mother , senator , citizen but about fufilling the duties and role of that position to the maximum and being the best you can be in that position.
TYP is a legacy I hope to instill in many people. That the world we live is not just about 'I' but about 'US'. Every man , woman and child in all that they do will look beyond themselves and seek the benefit of others. People will stop asking what others can do for them but look for what they can do for others. TYP is about being about doing the right thing because it is right, being the best in all that you do and striving for excellence in all things. TYP invovles standing out in crowd and standing up for the truth no matter the consequences. Going left even if the whole goes right as long as left is the right. TYP seeks to leave a legacy that freedom, truth , integrity, honor are more than words they are a way of life.
my main focus is my country,Nigeria. I believe that if every nigerian adopts the TYP mentality our country will progress.
well am closing now..... to all Nigerians,Africans and to all people, in every man,in every society lies the potential for greatness but its up to us to individually and as a whole harness that greatness and turn it into a reality.

NessaD