INTEGRITY : A LOST GEM

Long gone are the days when you could take a man at his word. When a man could get a loan from his fellow man based on his word that he would pay it back. A deal between two people did not need a horde of lawyers and numerous contracts, a simple handshake was enough to ensure that each person would keep his end of the deal. In summary, integrity is a virtue long lost.

One of the main causes of the degradation in our society is the blatant lack of integrity. In Nigeria, most leaders and citizens have little or no integrity. We look at every man (be he a political leader , a spiritual leader or an ordinary man on the street) with an eye of suspicion because we have almost no faith in what the words they speak. We automatically assume that all people are guilty until proven innocent. We instinctively feel that everyone around us seeks to cheat and take advantage of us, from the woman in the market to the politician promising heaven on earth. Ask a man selling electronics, if his wares are authentic and he will tell you yes, when he very well knows that they are not. In fact he would be willing to swear on his life that they are. What about the politicians and leaders, they stand behind various podiums and on different stages making vows and promises they have no intention of fulfilling and keeping. The church is not left out, nowadays we have ‘pastors’ and ‘men of God’ faking miracles and using all sort of devious means to take advantage of people. Since 1999, I have watched many people stand and take an oath to serve the best interest of this nation and its people. It seems ( and many times it has been proven) however, that they do anything but that. All these point to a lack of integrity. We have sacrificed our integrity at the altar of money, prestige and power.

The leaders are not the only culprits, you and I are also guilty. Do you maintain a standard of honesty and truth in all your dealings and interactions with people? When you give your word do you stand by it or are you a hypocrite? Can what you say be trusted? Are you a person of integrity? “He who has no sin should cast the first stone” says Jesus. Before you are quick to agree with me about the lack of integrity in our leaders, check yourself. Remove the log in your own eye before you remove the speck in another man’s eye.

Why is integrity so important to us, especially as Nigerians? Integrity is one of the principles upon which this nation was founded. It is a legacy that our fore fathers who fought for our independence freedom sought to pass on to all future generations . It is in our pledge and anthem. In the pledge we vow to be faithful, loyal and honest and to uphold the honour and glory of this nation. In one word, we vow to be people of integrity. We have clearly failed in this regard. However it is not too late for us to rise up and take our place. To be a person of excellence, a TYP person, you must be a person of integrity, maintaining your integrity in all things, big and small , consequential and inconsequential. It should be deeply ingrained in us. Psalm 25:21 says Let integrity and uprightness preserve me and it’s a fact that integrity is what will help redeem, restore and preserve the image of this country. If we fail to imbibe this character trait then our case will be that of the unfaithful described in Proverbs 11:3(The integrity of the upright will guide them but the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them.) The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him(Proverbs 20: 7). Walking in integrity provides a blessing for those coming behind you. Due to the failure of many Nigerians to walk in integrity , we are currently paying a great price. Everywhere we go we are seen criminals or potential criminals. We are looked upon with wariness and misgiving if not blatant suspicion. Most countries are reluctant to give us visas because of the assumption that we are all up to no good. We are ranked among the most corrupt nations in the world. In fact we can blame the fact that we were so easily put on the terrorist list on the reality that in the eyes of the world, we have no integrity, thus we cannot be trusted.

Who then is a person of integrity? Such a person is an individual who is upright, loyal , faithful, honest, reliable and trustworthy. A person who can stand his ground when he is certain that he is right. A person of character, whose lifestyle is guided by principles and ethics. An individual who is not perfect but whole ; when he or she makes mistakes he or she has the courage to admit them , learn from them and come out a better person. A person who stands for the truth, no matter the circumstance.

Integrity is something we all need. Let us all pray to God to give us a spirit of integrity. On our own it will be a difficult if not impossible task but with God we can do all thing ( with God all things are possible). If there is one thing we as a people and a nation urgently need to regain and restore , it’s our integrity. Let’s change the image and impression we have given the world. Integrity is a virtue that is more valuable than all the riches in the world (Better a poor man who walks in integrity than a rich man who is perverse in his speech and is a fool.’) It is better to lose everything than to lose our integrity. When everything –money , family , friends etc – gone what remains and will stand the test of time is our integrity and God will definitely reward that. I will end with this quote ‘Don’t compromise yourself to gain money , power and prestige. You may not know how things will turn out when you stick up for the truth...but it will be right’( The promise study edition bible (CEV) by Thomas Nelson , copyright 1996).

Signed,

NessaD

IMPRESSIONS (2)

In the first part of this post, my main focus was the impression we give others of ourselves. This post focuses on how we see other people around us. I have discovered that when it comes to way we look at others the rule of not judging a book by its cover is very important. What basis do you use to judge people? Do you use the clothes they wear, the size of their bank account , the people they associate with, their occupation, their intelligence, their values , their level of education, their actions, the way they speak? I believe that we use a combination of all that I have mentioned and so much more ( the list is by no means exhaustive). By combining the answers to all these questions and our observations we get an impression and form an opinion of the people that we meet. Depending on how long we are able to interact with people, our impression of them can be based on a little or a lot. The impression of a man who you see staggering out of a bar, drunk and never see again and that of your fellow worker or classmate who you see and talk to everyday cannot be compared. For the man, you have only that one act as the basis on which you will form your opinion of him, while for your fellow worker you have a series of actions and observation on which to base your opinion.

Getting the right idea about who a person is, is very difficult because people have different agenda and idiosyncrasies which influence either positively or negatively the impression that we get from them. Never judge a person by only what you see or what you don’t see. You never know what they carry inside. Who they may be right now or who they will be in the future. Yes first impressions are very important but as hard as it may be, be willing to allow those first impressions change as you discover more about an individual. Be willing to give people a second chance to change the opinion you have of them.

Another side to this topic is using what people have instead of who they are, to form opinions about them and measure their worth. You ignore any one who is not as rich, as educated, as well dressed or as privileged as you are. Such a person is beneath the your radar of recognition. This is about the worst attitude you can ever adopt. If you carry such a view you are certain to miss many great chances in life because you never know where life will take you and the person who you snob today may just be the key to your success tomorrow. Every human being is worth your attention, from the gateman at the gate to the president of your country. I don’t believe in coincidence, every person you meet, you meet for a reason. You may meet them because there is something you need that only they can give or vice versa. There is a story of a poor boy who walked up to the door of a woman's house and asked some bread. The woman took him into her house and gave him some bread and a glass of milk and the boy went on his way. She never saw the boy again. Many years later the woman became ill and had to have heart surgery. After the surgery she wondered how she would ever pay the bills, when the bill came to her it was signed paid in full by a glass of milk. Her doctor was the poor boy she fed all those years ago. The “chance” encounter with that boy of so many years ago became a blessing to her when she needed it the most. Imagine if she shut the door on that boy because he was “beneath” her. This story conveys my point clearly.

A person is not defined by the quality of their clothes, the things that they own but by what they have one the inside; their values, character, principles and ethics. So take the time to look beyond the outside and look inside a person and find their true worth. You may just be looking at a diamond in the rough. Look for the good in people. As concerned as you are in leaving the right impression so also should you be concerned with getting the right impression and forming the correct opinions about people. Do not measure the value of people by their material possessions because those things can and will pass away. The only thing that stands the test of time is the character and values of people and in that alone can the true worth of a man be found .

You may wonder why I bothered writing the first post on impressions since this post is almost contradictory but the truth remains that although what is on the inside is very important the outside also counts and what is outside ought to reflect what is inside. It is best have all bases covered than to have to rely on the assumption that others will be like you and take the time to look inside and find the true person and sometimes it may only be a one-time brief encounter that won’t allow for any in depth analysis and the foundation the person will have to base his opinion of you will be the outside, like the example I gave in the beginning of a man you see staggering out of a bar drunk and never see again. There is no time to look beyond the outside of that man to see who he is inside. Your opinion of that man will definitely be based on that one encounter. So why not as I said earlier, cover all bases. it's like they say- better safe than sorry.

Signed,

NessaD