IMPRESSIONS (2)

In the first part of this post, my main focus was the impression we give others of ourselves. This post focuses on how we see other people around us. I have discovered that when it comes to way we look at others the rule of not judging a book by its cover is very important. What basis do you use to judge people? Do you use the clothes they wear, the size of their bank account , the people they associate with, their occupation, their intelligence, their values , their level of education, their actions, the way they speak? I believe that we use a combination of all that I have mentioned and so much more ( the list is by no means exhaustive). By combining the answers to all these questions and our observations we get an impression and form an opinion of the people that we meet. Depending on how long we are able to interact with people, our impression of them can be based on a little or a lot. The impression of a man who you see staggering out of a bar, drunk and never see again and that of your fellow worker or classmate who you see and talk to everyday cannot be compared. For the man, you have only that one act as the basis on which you will form your opinion of him, while for your fellow worker you have a series of actions and observation on which to base your opinion.

Getting the right idea about who a person is, is very difficult because people have different agenda and idiosyncrasies which influence either positively or negatively the impression that we get from them. Never judge a person by only what you see or what you don’t see. You never know what they carry inside. Who they may be right now or who they will be in the future. Yes first impressions are very important but as hard as it may be, be willing to allow those first impressions change as you discover more about an individual. Be willing to give people a second chance to change the opinion you have of them.

Another side to this topic is using what people have instead of who they are, to form opinions about them and measure their worth. You ignore any one who is not as rich, as educated, as well dressed or as privileged as you are. Such a person is beneath the your radar of recognition. This is about the worst attitude you can ever adopt. If you carry such a view you are certain to miss many great chances in life because you never know where life will take you and the person who you snob today may just be the key to your success tomorrow. Every human being is worth your attention, from the gateman at the gate to the president of your country. I don’t believe in coincidence, every person you meet, you meet for a reason. You may meet them because there is something you need that only they can give or vice versa. There is a story of a poor boy who walked up to the door of a woman's house and asked some bread. The woman took him into her house and gave him some bread and a glass of milk and the boy went on his way. She never saw the boy again. Many years later the woman became ill and had to have heart surgery. After the surgery she wondered how she would ever pay the bills, when the bill came to her it was signed paid in full by a glass of milk. Her doctor was the poor boy she fed all those years ago. The “chance” encounter with that boy of so many years ago became a blessing to her when she needed it the most. Imagine if she shut the door on that boy because he was “beneath” her. This story conveys my point clearly.

A person is not defined by the quality of their clothes, the things that they own but by what they have one the inside; their values, character, principles and ethics. So take the time to look beyond the outside and look inside a person and find their true worth. You may just be looking at a diamond in the rough. Look for the good in people. As concerned as you are in leaving the right impression so also should you be concerned with getting the right impression and forming the correct opinions about people. Do not measure the value of people by their material possessions because those things can and will pass away. The only thing that stands the test of time is the character and values of people and in that alone can the true worth of a man be found .

You may wonder why I bothered writing the first post on impressions since this post is almost contradictory but the truth remains that although what is on the inside is very important the outside also counts and what is outside ought to reflect what is inside. It is best have all bases covered than to have to rely on the assumption that others will be like you and take the time to look inside and find the true person and sometimes it may only be a one-time brief encounter that won’t allow for any in depth analysis and the foundation the person will have to base his opinion of you will be the outside, like the example I gave in the beginning of a man you see staggering out of a bar drunk and never see again. There is no time to look beyond the outside of that man to see who he is inside. Your opinion of that man will definitely be based on that one encounter. So why not as I said earlier, cover all bases. it's like they say- better safe than sorry.

Signed,

NessaD